TEXAS BLESSING
Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
while ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass
fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please
carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in Texas, Lord, you've put them all!!
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
.............there's more....................
YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN...
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Ah, what a place to call home..
4 comments:
Very good Leigh..I really enjoyed reading this
Wish I could take credit for it! It's one of those mysterious internet email things that makes the rounds. I received it from someone who does not live in Texas, which makes it all the more interesting, I think.
I particularly liked the one about asphalt have a liquid state!!! (hee hee)
I spent a wonderful half hour reading about your Banjo Paterson yesterday, in my newest edition of National Geographic. What an interesting man and a national treasure you have in him! I am going to the library this morning to see if I can find any more of his work.
Leigh, I sent the YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN... joke to all my friends and former co-workers at The Lazy B (The Boeing Company). One guy that I worked with and was laid off after I was, got rehired by Boeing and works in Dallas now. He replied back to everyone, that they have concrete streets and parking lots in Dallas, and don't know what asphalt is. Also stated that there are no Dairy Cows, just ranch cows.
I personally loved the "The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground" and
"The trees are whistling for the dogs".
We have had days that where so hot, that the seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron too, here in Seattle.
We have lots of asphalt in the rural/suburban areas. Yes, downtown and uptown and of course the freeways are all concrete, but the other secondary roads are all asphalt!
As far as the cow thing goes...we have ranch cattle but we have dairy cows here as well, perhaps Dallas is a bit to high-brow for us down here in Houston??? There's always been a bit of jealousy from them up there in the 'north'.
Post a Comment